Professional Boyfriend

Do you know what would be the best job ever? If I could be a professional boyfriend.

Sounds weird you say? Not so. Allow me to explain…

This morning I woke up with my better half and was thoroughly peeved that work (yes, that necessarily evil that makes the world go ’round) interfered with our time together because it seems to always be calling one of us away. Sometimes plans are ruined or cannot be carried out because one of us has to toil away at a job – though this more frequently happens to me since I have three gigs.

I’m learning that being a GOOD boyfriend is actually like having a full-time job: a really, really great full-time job. It is time-consuming, it requires you to always be on your game, and it makes you consistently want to rise to the occassion and better yourself.
You want to give all your free time to that other person; you want to provide for them, protect them, play with them, travel with them, hug them every waking minute, and make them laugh and cry and smile all at the same time.

Never in my life have I felt so good about having such an impact on someone else’s life*. I have always liked being that guy that loves to entertain and make people feel good, but now that I care so deeply for another person, that feeling is amplified tenfold. I love the feeling of just being able to be there for someone else, no matter what.

So here’s what I’m saying, how epic would it be if I could be a boyfriend professionally? You know, like as a career and get paid for it. And no, I’m not talking about being a pimp/male escort, people (don’t lie, I know some of you were thinking it). It’s no secret that I have been searching for the past two years for a fulfilling career in my chosen field; jumping through hoops, going on dead-end interviews and auditions, being thoroughly disgruntled with every opportunity that does not pan out or turn into everything I’m hoping it could be. Well what could be more fulfilling than making the person you care most about happy constantly?

I mean, it would be great. I’d open all the doors, pull out all the chairs, organize all the plans (maybe): I’d be Prince freaking Charming. In a perfect world, it would be…well…perfect. It combines the best of both worlds: monetary gain and inner happiness. How many of you corporate accountants out there can say your job does that for you?

Sadly, there isn’t a timecard for life that I can just punch in and out from, so I guess I’ll just have to settle for trying to be the best guy I can be anyway.

*except being the best role model imaginable for my younger bro, Seany Fresh.

[Editor’s Note:]
It has just occurred to me that being a “professional boyfriend” as I called it, is basically the complete and utter definition of being a damn housewife. So, yeah. Shit.
You can look for me on the newest season of “Househusbands of Los Angeles”.